Anyone have any advice?? or sympathy? :)
Friday, June 19, 2009
My Alien Child
I am sooooo frustrated right now with my daughter!!! I just want to whine and cry right back at her when she whines and cries at me all day. Yes, AT me. Not just generally to the universe, but to me specifically about things I can not possibly begin to guess the reasons for. There are three reasons it's driving me insane. The first is the most obvious: I just can't stand that sound, or group of sounds. She varies them in pitch, tone and volume, just to make it interesting. The second has to do with the fact that I have absolutely no clue half the time what in the world is making her so upset. She'll be perfectly happy, cooing and giggling with a toy in her hand and then let loose with a yell like something just stung her. My protective mommy instinct wants to know what the heck is wrong so I can save her from whatever is causing her so much pain. But I guess the solution is just ignoring it?? I don't want to be the mom that is so desensitized to her child that they can't get her attention when they need it. Sigh. The third relates to the fact that she's just plain never been this fussy before. I used to have a well-behaved, obedient, independent, content child and now she has been replaced with a whiny, fussy, needy, obstinate, screaming child who gets upset at the drop of a hat and gets angry if she can't be involved in whatever it is I am doing (or eating whatever it is I am eating).
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2 comments:
I can give you plenty of sympathy. Corben was really bad about this around 1 when he was old enough to realize what he wanted but couldn't tell me. So we went through lots of training for him to say "mama" when he wants something. That worked beautifully for a while and now the whinny monster is peering it's little head but now it's more about attitude. If he doesn't like that I say no etc. In my opinion... if they are old enough to throw a fit and have an attitude then they are old enough to be switched.
And then I explain that his attitude is not acceptable. Not that I think he really understands the explaining.. but I do it just in case.
Regardless if they do have a genuine concern... having an attitude and throwing a fit is not the way to handle it.
That's just me though. Whining is one of the hardest things for me as a parent so far. I can't stand whining. It's like Chinese water torture. I feel your pain :(
I have definitely ramped up the discipline (aka, from time-out to a spank) to match the ramped up obstinance. It's those times when I really have no idea what the issue is that really make me crazy. At least when I'm able to help her work through how to properly express her desire for something or let her know that quiet patience will work much better than impatient whining... I feel like I can DO something helpful. You know, when Mommy knows exactly what they want but they just aren't behaving correctly to get it...
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