Saturday, October 25, 2008

The Avoidance of a Mess

I have a little rant about one of the moms at playgroup. This makes me wonder what people have to rant about when I'm not there, but, hopefully, I will not make the same mistakes that I get upset with. I'll probably just make different ones.
What frustrated me so, was a mom not taking a close enough interest in what her child was doing or had the potential to do at someone else's house. The scene: This child is a big boy, cruising, curious and a cross between a whirlwind and a bulldozer. He has pushed Eden over before just to crawl in a straight line to his destination. I had brought lunch and was eating it on our hostess' coffee table, including a drink. The hostess has an infant that she was tending to and I was about to have to feed Eden.
As I was eating the first part of my meal and just giving Eden some puffs, I was having to fend him off because he was so interested in my food and especially my drink. He had a sippy cup, but, of course, my drink was more interesting. His mom was sitting about 5 feet away saying "no" and his name in a menacing tone over and over... and over. I kept blocking my drink as she explained that he wanted to touch it or play with it. (duh, I know that) This would be when I would expect you to redirect your child physically or try to entertain him. Am I strange? Then, I had to start feeding Eden her baby food and could no longer protect my drink and the hostesses carpet, but I was not done with my meal yet, so I wasn't going to throw it away. I told his mom that I couldn't block him from my food anymore and she said "It's ok, I'm watching him." From five feet away!!! This boy was exactly six inches away from my drink... well within slapping distance and I could just see it all over the carpet. Apparently, so could my hostess, because she felt the need to grab him by the back of his overalls and put him in her lap with the pretense of wanting to play with him. I'm sure she didn't want his mom to suspect that she was really taking the preventative measures that the mom should have been taking. The mom seemed oblivious. "Oh yes, he loves to be bounced and held up in the air." Hmmmm. So that's something you could have been doing with him. I see. *sigh*
Later in the playdate the little boy had gotten a couple of wooden coasters and was banging them on the glass coffee table top. It sent shivers down my spine. She didn't take the coasters away, oh no, nope... she just went with a trusty "no." (trusty isn't really a good descriptor of how effective "no" is for her, by the way) Once again, the hostess stepped in and took her coasters away from him, apologizing (yes, apologizing) for them being out. "That's ok, he gets into everything at our house too." Wha? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but wouldn't you want to try and find an effective solution for that? Isn't that stressful?
The kicker is that this mom's about to become a nanny and have her child over at someone else's house all day while she watches their kids. eek.
Training, people! Training! Train up your child in the way they should go. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Get involved, redirect, sidetrack, substitute, then work on more training at home!
Ok, I'm done.

1 comment:

gifton said...

Amen and Amen... preach it sister.