Single and carefree?

I never want to be a single mom. Who would? Well, I actually know someone in my family that would, but that's a whole different situation.
Bunny trail... I wanted to type "a whole 'nother" back there a second ago, because that's what I would have said if I had been talking. Since when can we get away with cutting the word "another" apart and putting "whole" in the middle of it for impact? Why don't I just say "a whole other?" My mom, who was my high school English teacher (home schooled) would be appalled. C'mon, I know you do it, too.
So I never want to be a single mom because I realize on days like today, what a rock my husband is for me. Today wasn't a bad day. In fact, it was a very good day, just full. I had a group of mommies over to my house from about noon-3pm for a play date (Remember that banana bread I was considering making? Well, I made it and they liked it! Successful baking attempt number two, horray!) and then I had a welcome fiesta to attend at 6:30pm thrown by the Spouses Alliance for wives of residents at UMC.
First of all, I have to preface this by saying that I am the type of person that can make myself be outgoing and I'm getting better and better at it, but no matter how easy it is to talk to someone I've never met, no matter how charming they are or how much we have to talk about, I am EXHAUSTED afterward. The level of exhaustion differs depending on the number of unfamiliar people and the time I have to be "on."
Today, I had to be "on" twice, once for 3 hours and once for 1 1/2 hours. Add to that the fact that I am not a hostess by nature. It is not enjoyable for me to have people come to my house. It feels like my space is being invaded even when they've been invited. Am I weird? Add to that the fact that these people that came to my house brought kids. (I know it was a play date...) And their kids were touching my stuff. (I know that's what kids do...) It was a tiny bit stressful. Ok, more addition. Are you keeping up? Add on the fact that at the dinner, I was the only one that had to carry around her baby in someone's beautifully ornate home that had no children. It seems all the other moms either had friends or husbands that could watch their kids. Awkward. Of course, the evening is Eden's fussy time. So there I was at a dinner gathering with about 15 women I had never met and about 3 that I had met once at last week's play date for the Alliance. Not only do I have to suck it up and try to be assertive in starting conversations and mingling (ugh! it's really soooo hard for me!), but I have to not feel like I stick out like a sore thumb with my baby on my hip... my fussy baby on my hip... and green bean puree spewed on my white dress. (I had to feed her at the party, I had no option. She didn't like what I chose to bring, thus it ended up on my dress.)
All this to say, that.... whaaaaaah, I want my mommy! And when I can't have my mommy, my husband does very well to fill the role of hug giver, comforter and general energy-giver-back-er.
I can't imagine not having him. If I need him this much on the good days, Lord only knows how much I'm glad to have him on the bad days.
Only 1 more hour until he walks through the door.