N.M.M. addendum

I think it is fittingly hilarious that, even though I thought I had made a breakthrough in the Not Me Monday post below. (Look two posts down.) I, in fact, did not. I wrote the first part on Saturday and wrote the rest today and published it today for my N.M.M. post. So pleased with myself, I was. (channeling Yoda there...)

Then, come to find out, when I posted it, it posted with Saturday's date, the date I first saved data for the post. Lame. I thought if I posted it on Monday, Monday's date would be attached.

Now I know. Live and learn and do better next Monday.

Love equals War

I heard Jordin Sparks new song "Battlefield" today while out with my girls. One of my favorite things is finding truth (REAL truth) in things that weren't trying to convey it. Here's what I was thinking about as I listened...

One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battlefield

A battle isn't what I was thinking about when I married my husband. I was thinking love and bliss and sometimes it will be hard and commitment and all that stuff... but not war.

One word turns into a war
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

That's right, it's for life and we're in a battle against the Prince of Darkeness. He would like nothing better than to turn us against one another and make the war between us instead of between us and him.

Ephesians 6:12

¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Both hands, tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

Everything's going great and then suddenly we're in an argument, right? or someone's feelings get hurt and the night is ruined. We climb so fast to fall again.

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

So many interpretations here: I didn't even know I was becoming a soldier when I got married. I enlisted in more than companionship and didn't realize it.

Of course we don't want to hurt our spouse (usually), but we do and they hurt us and we look back on our day or our month or our life and say, "How did we even get here?" Don't even know why we're fighting with each other and we lose sight of what we should be fighting for.

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like

Can't swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose
What we had, oh no

Compromise... more than compromise, it's surrender. Surrender to God. Surrender to Him and therefore, to each other. Mutual servanthood. Sounds like both become wooses? Nope, without surrender we both gonna lose. Any win by one or the other is a loss for the team.

^{Ephesians 5:21}

²¹Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.


I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your

I love this part. Of course, she means armor to defend ourselves from each other, but what armor ARE we admonished to put on every day?

Ephesians 6:11

¹¹Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

Truth around our waist, Righteousness protecting our hearts, walking in Peace, deflecting Satan's attacks with Faith and driving him back with the Word. And praying always... it's the hardest to pray together when you're upset isn't it? I have to admit that we've never done that. It's a great idea though, yes? What better way to remind yourselves and Satan that you know what the war is really for, what it's really about. What a great way to purposefully declare that you both know that the things going on in the spirit world are even more real and important than the temporal things of this world.

We could pretend that we are friends tonight
(Oh, oh, oh)
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright

Woops. God doesn't recommend that...

Ephesians 4:26

²⁶"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.

Often it is easier to pretend or ignore, but facing our issues in short order will ensure Satan does not get a foothold in our hearts. And, after all, pretending is, in the end, just pretend.

'Cause baby, we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like

A battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
(Fighting, fighting for)

Selah.

N.M.M.

I did NOT realize about five minutes ago that I don't have to write "Not Me Monday" posts actually on Monday. I did NOT just realize about five minutes ago that I could take the opportunity to write this post in segments throughout the week as things happen that I would like to share. I have always known that I could just write something while I was thinking about it, save it and post it at a later date. So I am, of course, not writing this on Saturday.

I did not use my baby's tummy-time play mat to measure out the fabric pieces for the birthday outfit I'm making Eden. (See the inch marks on the top right of the picture?) I, of course, have a professional measuring mat thingy (you can tell I have one because I know exactly what it's called) on which I measure and cut all my projects. i would never just use things like 8 1/2 by 11 paper and tummy-time mats to measure with.

Forgiveness

I had a teachable moment last night. It's not often fun to be in the middle of a teachable moment. Those moments are usually uncomfortable or unpleasant. Well, no different here.

I was upset with someone. I felt they had not made the best choices and had, in turn, inconvenienced me. I then stewed.

After a few minutes of stewing, God reminded me I needed to forgive and that I was only hurting myself by continuing to hold on to my disgruntled-ness.

So I set out to convince myself to forgive, regardless of how I felt. "Well," I thought, "he didn't really mean to. He had no ill intentions. In fact, he was probably thinking he was doing me a favor. His heart was probably in the right place." I was becoming pleased with myself. I'm so generous to realize these things and give the benefit of the doubt. This is really helping me work towards forgiveness.

Then God cut into my thoughts. "Wrong. That's not what I want you to do, Sara."

"What? I'm doing a great job here, God!"

"That's not forgiveness, Sara."

"What do you mean that's not forgiveness. Just let me continue to work this out and I'll get there eventually. Give me a few more minutes. It's not instantaneous."

"That's NOT forgiveness."

Oh, crud. I get it now.

Sigh.

Colossians 3: 12-13

¹² Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts,kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, ¹³ bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

"Did you have anything good at ALL for Me to use as an excuse to forgive you? Did you in ANY way deserver the forgiveness I gave?" said my Father to me.

So often, we try to make ourselves forgive others by trying to realize their good intentions or by finding some grain of "good" in them that makes them possibly worthy of our forgiveness. The danger in that is that there will surely be a time when you can find no exchange for your forgiveness, no good in the one who has wronged you. Then, if you have only practiced forgiveness in this way, you will be stuck with growing bitterness inside your heart for the rest of your life. It will eat your insides out. It will take a part of you away and you will not be a fully functioning individual. You will have given Satan a foothold that he can enjoy and exploit.

Even when we CAN find that excuse to forgive, that's still not real forgiveness, so we shouldn't even bother.

God forgave me when there was nothing I could give Him. I had no redeeming qualities, but He redeemed me for Himself. I am called to forgive others even as He forgave me, not for their benefit, but for mine. God wants me to be free and my heart to be unfettered. He led by example and He also provides the power to follow.

Try it for yourself today.

In YMCA - M stands for Mud

Here's the story...

I went to the Y at 5:30 for a step class. I took my keys, my wallet and Eden. I had a great class, got Eden and went to the car. I pulled out of my parking space and proceeded to go around a row of cars to get to the exit. Cars had parked all the way to the edge of the pavement and out on to some grass. I could see the grass had ruts and bumps, but I took it slow so as not to bump the nose of my car. I made it through the first "ditch" just fine and began slowly through the second. That's where all the trouble began. I never made it out. I did what you do before you realize you're stuck in mud and floored it. I made it to the crest of the mini hill and sank back down. I popped it in reverse. No luck. I turned the wheels, looking for a better direction to get out. No good. I reversed as far as I could go, quickly put it in drive and (brilliantly) used the kinetic energy to give my car the extra push it needed to make it through, over and out.

Yes!

Nope.

I had to leave my car stuck and get Eden out and walk back inside. Remember, I only have my wallet and keys. That means no phone. I use the Y's phone to call home. No answer. I then have to ask to use the personal cell phone of one of the employees to call Chuck's long distance cell number. He answers and says he'll be on his way soon.

He arrives with Arielle (who had been in the middle of eating) and tries to get my car unstuck. Meanwhile, Eden is continuously repeating "Mud. Mud. Mud? Stuck? Stuck in mud. Stuck in the mud. Car, mud. Mommy's car stuck in mud." It felt like she was rubbing it in. I was going loco.

Chuck didn't have any better time of it than I. We call AAA and settle inside the Y to wait an hour for the tow truck. Meanwhile, Arielle is getting anxious to eat the rest of her dinner and has also soaked through her diaper, pants, blanket and my sleeve... then she pooped. Eden hadn't eaten either, so Chuck drove to Wendy's for a kids meal of nuggets.

While we continue to wait and Eden begins her long-awaited meal. This very friendly woman begins chatting with us. Just basic stuff like what beautiful kids we have and remembering that she was 2 when her sister was born. Then she says "What are you having to eat sweetie? Oh, chicken nuggets, huh? You're going to get fat if you keep eating food like that."

Give us a break, lady! You have no idea what she eats normally and it's really none of your business anyway!

Then, even later, when the tow truck had come and Chuck was out with the towing man, she came back around and grabbed a cookbook off a table where it was displayed for purchase. She began showing the pictures to Eden and said "Oh, you probably won't recognize any of these vegetables, we'd better look at pictures of fruit." At that point, I felt the need to defend myself. Stupid, but oh well. So when she came to a picture of tomatoes I cut in quickly, "She LOVES tomatoes! You love tomatoes, don't you Eden!?" Of course, she just stared at me. Come on! Say, "Yummy, yummy!" or something to back Mommy up. Then we came to a page with broccoli. "Oh, broccoli Eden! another of your favorites! right?" No answer. The woman looked at me and said, "Really, she eats broccoli?" "Yep!"

I wanted to say, "Cross my heart and hope to die. She really does. I promise!" But I controlled myself.

Finally, Chuck came back in with the keys and we were all set to go.

I was super stressed out for the rest of the evening although very glad to be home. I won't be ready to go back to that Y for a few more days.

More Videos Posted!

Even though I haven't been blogging faithfully, I have been making more YouTube videos. I actually have my own channel you can subscribe to and everything! It's a bit easier to make a video for me than it is to type sometimes as demonstrated in my latest one which you can find here. I actually held Arielle through the whole thing. She's now sleeping peacefully, so I had a moment to write this so you would know to go watch.... especially if you're blemish-prone like me. You might find out something useful. :)

Yea For Sewing!

I'm back at it. I actually found some time to hit the sewing machine and try out a brand new pattern I purchased with Christmas money. I discovered Heidi and Finn on Etsy.com. They have very reasonably priced, unique kids patterns. I bought the girly blouse pattern and the dressy coat with the bow. I made Eden a fall/winter version of the blouse from some denim I had left over from making her some ruffle-bottom jeans. (I don't have a good picture of the jeans yet... I'll post when I do.)

I took her out on the porch today to photograph the debut of the blouse and then we went to the mall. She got several compliments and I was so proud! :)