Why do mom's suddenly acquire a language where every directive must include themselves even though it is clearly only intended for the child? I've noticed this phenomenon for a long while now and I vowed that I would not be a mom that it overtook. I'm a "say what you mean" kinda gal and I think it sounds silly to say "We don't smear peanut butter on our faces, please" or "We don't dip Sally Sue's hair in the paint." Of course we don't. I know I don't. Do you?
Sometimes the sentences make even less sense. "We don't try to grab Mommy's coffee cup while she's drinking." So... you're reminding yourself not to grab your own cup out of your hand? Weird. Or something like, " We don't get up from a nap before Mommy comes to get us, ok?" Now this is starting to sound like some sort of multiple personality problem.
Are these moms trying to remind themselves of forgotten etiquette while training their child? Are moms afraid that they will revert back to unacceptable behavior because of their 24/7 involvement with children? Do all moms, in fact, aquire a multiple personality because of the overwhelming suffering experienced in labor and birth? Of course, the answers to these ridiculous questions is "no." But, why do we all do it then? Why am I tempted to say to Eden "We don't pull Dolce's hair. We pet gently."? What force is at work in moms (and dads) to adopt this speech of inclusiveness? Are we afraid that a simple "Please don't do such-and-such" sounds too harsh?
Any thoughts?
Monday, August 18, 2008
Granddaddy's visit
Eden had fun with Granddaddy over the weekend. She's so blessed to have a family that wants to nurture and support her and her parents.
We're looking forward to many more memorable moments in the future.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Yet Another Revelation
You know what I realized yesterday? Whenever I do have 30 minutes or even 5 minutes of time to myself where I can get something done or just relax because my baby's happy or sleeping, I need to be more consciously grateful. I realized that I'm not even enjoying the time I do get, because I'm either mindlessly doing whatever until she cries and then I get grumbly or I'm tense the whole time expecting her to cry at any moment. I never thought I would have to put effort into enjoying something, but that's what makes the difference here. For instance, just now when I sat down to write, I had to stop and make myself realize that I was about to experience some "me" time, that my baby is cooing happily in the other room and that this is a nice mid-morning break. voila! I can now truly enjoy the moments as little gifts. Before, it was like I was taking the pretty box and squeezing it with my teeth clenched and eyes closed just waiting for Eden to take it away. Today, I'm going to open it and enjoy it.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Revelation
Some things that a couple of moms have said in the last couple of days have really stuck with me, so I thought I'd put them here. My food for thought:
Why worry about losing all the weight only to have another child? Why not just have another and then lose all the weight one time?
hmmmm....
Two can entertain each other, whereas you're the only one around to entertain just one.
Back to the weight issue. I have to admit, I've really been obsessed with my figure after having Eden, I think to an unhealthy level. If I really examine my motives closely, I think gaining weight again and losing all the work I feel like I've done to get my pre-baby body back is number one right now on my list of reasons not to have another child. I don't think that reason's good enough. I saw mom's today with two year olds and they looked great. It made me realize... you know, in 2-3 years, I can be back in shape and have my two kids and look great. Everything is a season.
I also saw a picture of one of Chuck's aunts today with 4 out of her 5 kids all together, arms around each other, smiling for a picture. I know they have a great time together and she really loves having a big family like that. It made me realize the temporary-ness of the fussy baby stage. It's like looking to the greater prize. (Not to devalue the fleeting baby years, but they're hard sometimes.)
Is God doing something in me? Yep. I think He is.
Why worry about losing all the weight only to have another child? Why not just have another and then lose all the weight one time?
hmmmm....
Two can entertain each other, whereas you're the only one around to entertain just one.
Back to the weight issue. I have to admit, I've really been obsessed with my figure after having Eden, I think to an unhealthy level. If I really examine my motives closely, I think gaining weight again and losing all the work I feel like I've done to get my pre-baby body back is number one right now on my list of reasons not to have another child. I don't think that reason's good enough. I saw mom's today with two year olds and they looked great. It made me realize... you know, in 2-3 years, I can be back in shape and have my two kids and look great. Everything is a season.
I also saw a picture of one of Chuck's aunts today with 4 out of her 5 kids all together, arms around each other, smiling for a picture. I know they have a great time together and she really loves having a big family like that. It made me realize the temporary-ness of the fussy baby stage. It's like looking to the greater prize. (Not to devalue the fleeting baby years, but they're hard sometimes.)
Is God doing something in me? Yep. I think He is.
Brian Regan
Yay for sharing laughs today! My favorite of the week is comedian Brian Regan. Chuck's family has enjoyed him for years and I was introduced to him a couple of years ago. He's hilarious, and mostly clean which is a rarity. He'll occassionally use the "lesser" swear words, H*** and D*** and A**, so be ware. There is nothing objectionable in the clip. Enjoy!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Just my day
Uggh! The baby's down for a nap after two hours of fussing. Dinner's getting cold on the table as it waits for my husband to arrive home from work (expected him at 3pm, now it's 7:30pm). Dolce is whining outside because I just couldn't stand her barking at every little noise inside. I'm wondering what we're going to do about grocery shopping that was planned for tonight because I was planning on putting the baby to bed at 8pm. Company's coming into town tomorrow. And I didn't get to work out today. Uggh!
Ok, now the good things: I met with some moms today from church for a lunch/playdate. It was really great. We just munched and talked nonsense about random stuff. Eden did really well with the babies and it tuckered her out, so she had a good nap. I got to meet some ladies going through the same things I am. Oh yeah, and the Wheels of Steel I made got rave reviews! (Thanks Kelli!) I never bake anything, much less for small gatherings like that, so that was a really good experience. They were saying I was a little Betty Crocker. I was quick to point out that I was only doing it to make a good first impression so they don't expect it every time. Although, I'm thinking about trying banana bread for next week.
Why does the conversation always have to go to birth stories? I was EXTREMELY good and didn't show my trump card - 36 hours all natural + pitocin toward the end. They were all talking about epidurals and c-sections and unbearable pain... with an 8 month pregnant woman there, no less. I felt so bad for her. It's her first child and she wants to go natural (horray for her!) but she had to hear all these depressing stories. At one point, I just interrupted everyone and said, "but it won't be at all like that for you. You're birth will be awesome." We got to talking after that and found out we have a lot in common, so that was nice. I'm optimistic about finding a good friend in the group. They're all coming over to my place next Thursday.
Ok, now the good things: I met with some moms today from church for a lunch/playdate. It was really great. We just munched and talked nonsense about random stuff. Eden did really well with the babies and it tuckered her out, so she had a good nap. I got to meet some ladies going through the same things I am. Oh yeah, and the Wheels of Steel I made got rave reviews! (Thanks Kelli!) I never bake anything, much less for small gatherings like that, so that was a really good experience. They were saying I was a little Betty Crocker. I was quick to point out that I was only doing it to make a good first impression so they don't expect it every time. Although, I'm thinking about trying banana bread for next week.
Why does the conversation always have to go to birth stories? I was EXTREMELY good and didn't show my trump card - 36 hours all natural + pitocin toward the end. They were all talking about epidurals and c-sections and unbearable pain... with an 8 month pregnant woman there, no less. I felt so bad for her. It's her first child and she wants to go natural (horray for her!) but she had to hear all these depressing stories. At one point, I just interrupted everyone and said, "but it won't be at all like that for you. You're birth will be awesome." We got to talking after that and found out we have a lot in common, so that was nice. I'm optimistic about finding a good friend in the group. They're all coming over to my place next Thursday.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
1+1=better?
It seems like it's been so long! I really don't know what to write about, not because I don't have anything to write about, but because there's just too much. I have the baby on my lap and I'm periodically lifting my elbows while continuing to type to block her from the piece of paper on the desk that she wants to tear up and from my glass of red wine. I can just see the glass shattering on the desk and wine splashing all over the keyboard. So... in return for all my blocking efforts, I get a frustrated, fussy baby who is making it even harder to put some thoughts down.
I'm actually still thinking about having another one. Can you believe it? Of course, probably most people that read this can imagine it because they've done it and even highly recommend it. It's really NOT my favorite thing in the world to hear fussing and see tears and I really can't imagine life right this second with another, possibly even more tearful one to take care of. At the same time. I do think it would just be so cute and so peachy and so fun to have two little ones to help with some baking or play with each other or tag along in the store. Now, I fully realize that this is a fantasy picture of having more than one child. In fact, I was just thinking today at McAllister's Deli where I had lunch how I was just wishing for 45 minutes without fussing so I could eat in peace and then enjoy some relaxing time on my laptop. I was imagining that I would probably be wishing, more realistically, for just 15 minutes if I had two. True? Yet moms still speak so highly of having more than one. Sometimes I think I'm just going to have to close my eyes and jump, so to speak, because the more I think about all the things that aggravate me about one and how that would be multiplied... the more condoms I want to buy.
That's about all the fussing I can stand for now, gotta go.
I'm actually still thinking about having another one. Can you believe it? Of course, probably most people that read this can imagine it because they've done it and even highly recommend it. It's really NOT my favorite thing in the world to hear fussing and see tears and I really can't imagine life right this second with another, possibly even more tearful one to take care of. At the same time. I do think it would just be so cute and so peachy and so fun to have two little ones to help with some baking or play with each other or tag along in the store. Now, I fully realize that this is a fantasy picture of having more than one child. In fact, I was just thinking today at McAllister's Deli where I had lunch how I was just wishing for 45 minutes without fussing so I could eat in peace and then enjoy some relaxing time on my laptop. I was imagining that I would probably be wishing, more realistically, for just 15 minutes if I had two. True? Yet moms still speak so highly of having more than one. Sometimes I think I'm just going to have to close my eyes and jump, so to speak, because the more I think about all the things that aggravate me about one and how that would be multiplied... the more condoms I want to buy.
That's about all the fussing I can stand for now, gotta go.
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