I don't know if I've ever blogged about the title for my blog. Have I?
Well, if I have, I'm about to again, and if I haven't, you're about to find out why I picked that name.
When Chuck and I were married, he gave me a wedding set that consisted of two white gold bands with several prong-set tiny diamonds and milgrain edges flanking my engagement ring with my grandma's 1/4 carat round diamond and five small channel-set round diamonds on either side, also set in a white gold band.
I discovered about a year into our marriage that it was not comfortable to wear my wedding set for very long. My finger would itch and become irritated, red and bumpy. I assumed this was just from dirt or other irritants getting stuck under my ring, so I started taking it off at night and sometimes only wearing one of the thin wedding bands and not the whole trio.
Halfway through my pregnancy with Eden, Chuck bought me a beautiful sterling silver ring with a large blue topaz stone from Brighton. Topaz is the December birthstone (Eden was due in December) and I fell in love with it when we were walking around Phipps Plaza in Atlanta, so he bought it for me. Little did I know that I would be wearing it in place of my wedding rings.
I'm not sure how long ago I began wearing it, but my white gold set was just too exasperatingly itchy. We've determined I must be allergic to nickel, a component in white gold. I had another sterling silver band engraved with "depth, breadth, height" (from Browning's How Do I Love Thee) and wore the two rings together to make me look "more" married.
I knew that one day I would get a replacement wedding set in platinum, but wasn't sure when money would allow.
In the meantime, I began this blog. The sterling and topaz on my finger represented a struggle for me to be content. It was a constant reminder that I have had a privileged life with expectation that it will always be so. It also somewhat represented an underlying current of waiting for things to come to fruition. Supporting my husband as he finished medical school and began residency, learning to let go of my dancing for a time as my body changed and an ever-needy being was given to me to care for, never feeling quite at home in our new city and rented house, etc. Waiting. Waiting....
God has taught me so much in the four years I've been a wife. It's so true that the more you learn, the more you realize how much you don't know. But, I'm glad to be continuously made aware of areas I need to grow in. It's a sign that I am actually growing. I'm a different person from the one I was four years ago and I hope to be a different person yet four years from now. I want to keep changing. I want to keep maturing. I want to keep working towards being the person my Father sees in me.
In November I'll be a mother of two. In May I'll be a wife of five years. In June... I'll be 30. *shudder* It's a big year and I know God's got big plans. We're in a bit of transition right now, as Chuck has officially moved into his residency (no longer a lowly intern), and completed the last part of his exams to be able to practice as a doctor. We're looking for the right church home for us because we're not sure we're still meant to be at the church we began attending last year. We are finally going to make a monthly budget and we are continuing our attempt to manage our finances in a Godly way.
As the last page in our wedding album says "With full trust in our God and our love for each other, we look forward with joy to the adventure of our lives."
And, by the way... I just got a new ring. No set yet. Platinum's expensive, so we're taking this a step at a time. It's a one-carat total weight five-stone wedding ring from Memoire's Purity Collection.... and I love it. :)
Here is a kimono top I made for Eden from this pattern. This is the same pattern I used for baby Devlin's kimono and pant set, but I had to alter it quite a bit. It was a combination of cutting the pattern pieces wrong (imagine that) and the fact that Eden must be rounder than it allows for. I also had to alter the neck to make it curved in the back instead of straight across, or it would pucker. You can't really tell, but there are triangular panels of that orange flower accent fabric on either side to make it more of an a-line. I think it's quite pretty on her. It definitely needs a shirt underneath, which wasn't the original intention, but will be perfect for cooler weather. I'll post a picture the whole thing on my little model when I get the pants done.
Here's the other v-neck t-shirt I bought at the same time as the pink one. I had different plans for it. I had seen these scrappy looking approximations of flowers that I thought were kind-of charming. I decided to try it. This hasn't been washed yet and I expect the edges of the "flowers" to fray, which should be interesting. I can't decide if I'm in love with it or if it's weird looking. It's hard to know if you saw something in a boutique that you hadn't made whether or not you would like it. That's art for ya... well, for me anyway. As the artist, I know the process, the flaws, the details... and it's hard to just see the big picture and make a judgement.
